Like most Americans of just-about-average intelligence, I am big into lists. Top 100 countdowns (example), top 10 this or that — love ‘em. And this morning I stumbled on one that’s all but begging for my commentary — especially since I’m the only one up at 6:15 on a Saturday morning, it’s raining, and Reese’s soccer class isn’t for another two hours: The Man in the Black Hat’s list of the top ten dressers in the PGA Tour/Fed Ex Cup playoffs.
Pro golf? Clothes? Talk about up my alley.
In case your browser is as slow as mine and you don’t want to click that link, tMitBH’s list is as follows:
1. Camilo Villegas
2. Ian Poulter
3. Rickie Fowler
4. Dustin Johnson
5. Luke Donald
6. Bubba Watson
7. Phil Mickelson
8. Webb Simpson
9. Ryan Moore
10. Ryuji Imada
Now the aforesaid MitBH is a guy who blogs on golf fashion and, from what I can tell, he is the best in the world at what he does. And while I generally agree with much of this list, it isn’t without significant misfires.
The Man in the Black Hat thinks Camilo Villegas is the best-dressed guy on Tour. I say it's Adam Scott.
Dustin Johnson does not belong on any best-dressed list, period. This weird, high-techie Adidas stuff he favors is plain awful. Maybe it’s not his fault — no doubt he gets paid handsomely to wear it — but he still looks terrible. And part of being well dressed is having style. Have you heard a DJ interview recently? Maybe I’m prejudging him a bit because he can barely string together thirty seconds of reply, but there is no way a guy that inarticulate has a modicum of style, on or off the course. My guess is that his Adidas handler does the work. Fine and well, but by no means “best dressed.”
Nor does Phil Mickelson belong on this list. It’s well and good to have expensive, custom-made clothes, but you also have to look good in them and Phil just doesn’t. Phil’s a big guy, I know, but big guys should do what they can to slim themselves. If Phil’s doing that, it isn’t working. I don’t know what he’s wearing, but he always looks, um, shiny. Is that some sort of high-tech polyester? Whatever it is, he may want to rethink adding some cotton to that blend. His button-tab collar shirts are downright terrible (too much piping and the sleeves are about an inch too short), and his choice for the second round of the ’10 Masters was Worst of the Year in my book. I like Phil, and I’m sure he’s a heck of a nice guy. But on a “best dressed” list? No way.
(Side note: wouldn’t a Makeover Phil Contest brought to you by TLC’s What Not to Wear be fun?)
Although his clothes no doubt cost much more than they used to, Philly Mick's look hasn't improved much since the early years.
And why is Webb Simpson on this list? He’s a fine dresser, but fine is all. So, too, are guys like Charles Howell III, Scott Piercy and Kevin Na. They didn’t make the list. Fine is fine, but it ain’t “best.”
Bubba Watson, too, is a curious choice. I like his move to Travis Mathew, and no doubt he’ll make a few bucks as a part owner of the company. (Kenny Boyd can’t keep the stuff on the shelves in the Glendale pro shop.) But while his clothes are nice (and expensive), the guy lacks style, as evidenced by his button-it-all-the-way-to-the-top-button look — what’s that all about? — and this curious choice
he made for a major TV time spot at the 2007 U.S. Open. That was only four years ago. No way a guy who wears a neon green visor in the final pairing at the U.S. Open is “best dressed” anything.
My list looks something like this:
1. Adam Scott. Perfectly-fitting Burberry puts this underachieving Aussie (there are many) at the top of the Best Dressed list. The perfect combination of modern and classic, like a new Ford Mustang. UPDATE: The former Players champ is with Aquascutum now. No matter — he still looks better than anyone on Tour.
2. Ian Poulter. Kind of a Greg Norman meets James Bond. I like but don’t love his IJP Design stuff, but he gets big points for effort and style. His pants are the best on Tour.
3. Luke Donald. Nothing spectacular from the Polo guy, but he just has a certain je ne sais qua that most players don’t.
4. Rickie Fowler. The guy has single-handedly put Puma Golf on the international golf apparrel map. I hate his ugly flat-brimmed hats and don’t love his monichrome orange Sundays — but for them he’d be higher on my list.
5. Jesper Parnevik. The dude’s a style God — at least he has been since he got rid of that Gawd-awful flipped-up cap. So good does he look that one of his wanna-be’s, Ryan Moore, also made my list.
6. Tiger Woods. Cheetah is probably higher than he should be on my list, largely because he derives much of his good looks from his Olympian body. His clothes are decent — I have quite a few — but the ’10 Tiger Woods collection was atrocious. Apparently changes are coming, and if Nike techs him up a la Stewart Cink or Anthony Kim, he won’t make my list in ’11. (No doubt he’ll lose sleep over that.)
7. Ricky Barnes. Maybe I’m mistaken, but I think he’s the first guy on Tour to have worn the military cap. Now they’re everywhere — including my closet. He looks and dresses California cool.
8. Jonathan Byrd. The recent winner was voted best dressed by his peers a few years back. I agree he dresses well, but the longtime Polo guy could work on his creativity.
9. Brian Gay. Right up there with Ian Poulter for the Best Pants on Tour. I’m not a huge fan of many of his two-tone techie Sligo shirts, but his pants alone get him on this list. His lack of Poulter-esque charisma keeps him at the bottom of my top ten.
10. Ryan Moore. The Puyallup native pulls the tie and golf slash tennis shoes look off quite nicely. Now, if he’d only shave …
Honorable mention goes to Geoff Ogilvy (wish I looked like him), Justin Leonard (great with Polo but a definite step down with the Nike gear) and Ryo Ishikawa (non-stop pzazz would be in my top ten if he toned it down on occasion).
Jesper Parnevik reeks style.
Next year, Zach Johnson and David Duval, among others, will be wearing duds from the upstart Iliac Golf, whose stuff I love but cannot afford. Here’s bettin’ at least one of them cracks my top ten.
Check back, my two readers, for a list of the Ten Worst Dressed Players on Tour.
UPDATE: Here it is.
UPDATE 2: My friend Suzi Kelly pointed out that I left Payne Stewart off my list. When I pointed out that my list was limited to the 125 players who qualified for this year’s Fed Ex Cup playoffs, I realized I violated my own rule by including Jesper Parnevik on the list and Ryo Ishikawa as an honorable mention. Thus, an update is in order: best-dressed active golfers.
1. Adam Scott
2. Darren Clarke
3. Ian Poulter
4. Luke Donald
5. Rickie Fowler
6. Jesper Parnevik
7. Ryo Ishikawa
8. Tiger Woods
9. Scott Piercy
10. Johan Edfors
If Payne was still with us I’d put him somewhere around 4 or 5. The plus fours were a classic trademark that may never be equaled. On the other hand, that NFL stuff was pretty ghetto. I recall he did a Payne Stewart line with JC Penney in his later years — much better than that NFL gear.
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